🤍 Condolence Money Calculator (Kouden Amount)

Kouden (香典) is the money gift brought to a Japanese funeral or wake, placed in a bushigi-bukuro (不祝儀袋) envelope with a black-and-white or silver cord. The front bears a label such as 御霊前, 御仏前 or 御香典. The amount balances closeness, the deceased's age and local custom:

Unlike a wedding gift, kouden uses odd numbers too, but the practical rule is to avoid 4 (四, death) and 9 (九, suffering). The amount is also influenced by the family's expected return. After the funeral the bereaved family sends a koudengaeshi (香典返し) thank-you gift, and a partial cash refund called hanbanshi (半返し, "half-return") is common in many regions. Pair the amount with the correct noshi label and write it in old kanji using the envelope amount converter.

Choose your relationship and the age group of the deceased. The tool returns the standard amount range and the suggested hanbanshi return-gift value. The hanbanshi rule of thumb:

The calculation is: return value = kouden × ratio, where the ratio is about 0.4-0.5 for close ties and 0.3-0.4 otherwise. Note that hanbanshi refers to a gift worth that portion, not cash - the family sends it roughly 35-49 days after the funeral (after the "first seventh-day" memorial). The exact ratio depends on region and the family's custom; some return a fixed catalogue gift regardless.

1. Choose your relationship to the deceased.
2. Select the age group of the deceased.
3. Read the standard kouden amount range.
4. See the suggested hanbanshi (half-return) gift value.
5. Prepare a bushigi-bukuro with the label and old-kanji amount.

How much kouden do friends give?

Friends and acquaintances usually give 5,000 to 10,000 yen. Close friends may give 10,000 to 30,000. Coworkers typically give 5,000 yen.

How much kouden for a parent?

A spouse, parent or child typically gives 50,000 to 100,000 yen, sometimes more. Siblings and close relatives give 30,000 to 50,000.

What is hanbanshi (半返し)?

{'It is the "half-return" custom': 'the bereaved family sends a thank-you gift worth about 40-50% of the kouden for close ties, or about one-third for general acquaintances. It is a gift, not cash, sent around 35-49 days after the funeral.'}

Do I use new or old bills for kouden?

Old (slightly used) bills are traditional for funerals, the opposite of weddings where crisp new bills are expected. The idea is that a sudden death should not find you unprepared.

御霊前 or 御仏前 - which do I write?

御霊前 at the wake and funeral, while the body is present. 御仏前 after the funeral and at memorial services for Buddhist families. In some regions 御香典 is used for the funeral money itself.

Can I send kouden if I cannot attend?

Yes. Send it by post or cash-on-delivery (現金書留) within a few days, with a short condolence letter. The amount is the same as if you attended.

Why avoid 4 and 9 in the amount?

4 (四, shi) sounds like death (死), and 9 (九, ku) sounds like suffering (苦). Amounts like 40,000 are avoided; odd numbers such as 10,000, 30,000 and 50,000 are preferred.

This tool is for informational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice. Consult a qualified financial professional for advice specific to your situation.

Use a bushigi-bukuro (not a celebratory envelope) with a black-and-white or silver cord - never red-and-white. Write the label vertically: 御霊前 while the body is present (wake/funeral), 御仏前 after the funeral for Buddhist families; Shinto families use 御榊 or 御神前. Write your amount in old kanji (金参萬円) on the inner envelope - see the envelope amount converter. Bring old, slightly used bills for a funeral (the opposite of a wedding, where crisp new bills are used). Hand the envelope at the reception with both hands. If you cannot attend, send kouden by post within a few days with a condolence letter. See the life-event guide for the full ceremony checklist, and check the senior celebration calculator for longevity gifts that contrast with funeral amounts.